Greetings Crime Fighters…and welcome to another season of hanging-on-the-edge -of-your-coma action here in “Poolside.” I hope you had a fantastic Christmas…and that 2012 is...
Tag - Ben Crane
On Euphemisms and Euphoria…
It’s funny, sometimes, when one of life’s lessons comes up and smacks you in the face, isn’t it? You’re tooling along, minding...
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On Being Bamboozled and Deported… and Torrey Pines Reported
If you’re one of the people who has read this column for any amount of time (and I know who both of you are!), you’ll be aware...
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Sugar Highs and Suntanned Thighs
It’s only the midpoint of the first month of 2012, and many of our friends south of the 49th parallel have suddenly gone...
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And That's a Wrap…Avec Moutard!
MEMO To: Steve Williams From: Tim Finchem, PGA Tour Commissioner Re: Speaking in Public Dear Steve; Please shut the hell up. In the event you wish to speak in public in...
M-I-C…K-E-Y…M-O-N-E-Y
I’m on the road right now, so this week’s column will be uncharacteristically short and to the point…or as close to coming to the point as I can. For the both of you who read this...
Golf…Serengeti Style
If Marlin Perkins were covering this particular spectacle for Wild Kingdom, the only shot we would have seen of the elusive tiger would have been a quick glimpse of him licking his groin...
Cranial Constipation…with Frys
I’ve sat down at this damned computer four times to write this article…and have walked away in frustration each and every time. It appears that I’m suffering from an acute case of...
Father's Day Favourites
US Opens are notorious for the evil way in which the courses are set up. Fairways are cut to the width of a snooker table, the rough is deep enough to lose your shoes in (not to mention...
Hopeless Causes…and Hopeful Picks
We’ve all heard the old chestnut, “if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one there to hear it, does it still make a sound?” Unfortunately, in golf these days, there is an all-too...
BEWARE: The Killer Hamsters are Coming!!!
As I was watching the third round play out at Colonial on Saturday, one thought kept tugging away at me from the dark recesses of my imagination. As David Toms stumbled his way around the...
Showdown at Hogan's Alley
For whatever reason, I always seem to suffer from a golf version of “lunch bag letdown” the week after a big event. No matter how good the course or how deep the talent in the field, it’s...