Tiger's Anniversary

Those corporate gigs aren't returning anytime soon: Tiger Woods launches his PR offensive this week.

Yep, we’re nearing the one-year anniversary of Tiger Woods slamming his SUV into a fire hydrant outside his home and the snoring as the ambulance arrived.

I know because he’s suddenly everywhere — on Twitter, writing for Newsweek (really?) and on ESPN radio.

It is hard not to be cynical about it when he  “writes” (and that’s pretty hard to believe) this sort of thing:

Slowly, I’m regaining the balance that I’d lost. My healing process is far from complete, but I am beginning to appreciate things I had overlooked before. I’m learning that some victories can mean smiles, not trophies, and that life’s most ordinary events can bring joy. Giving my son, Charlie, a bath, for example, beats chipping another bucket of balls. Making mac and cheese for him and his sister, Sam, is better than dining in any restaurant. Sharing a laugh watching cartoons or reading a book beats channel-surfing alone. Some nights now, it’s just me and the kids, an experience that’s both trying and rewarding. Probably like the experience a lot of families have every evening around the world.

I wonder whether he was so concerned about his life’s balance and making mac and cheese when he was banging waitresses and porn actresses?

Anyway, my take is this — I wish we’d get beyond talking about his indiscretions, but here is Tiger putting it out there again. Frankly if he’d just played better, he’d probably have less to apologize for. That’s the sports world for you, and I’m basically fine with it. That’s my take in a Sympatico column that will go live tomorrow:

Truthfully the notion Woods would have to pen columns and start using Twitter to bounce back from his much-discussed sex scandal never crossed my mind. When he returned to professional golf last April at the Masters in Augusta, Georgia, there wasn’t an indication Woods would come back as something less than the golfer who won his final event of 2009 in Australia. He finished fourth at Augusta, not bad considering the media storm that threatened to engulf his comeback. It made sense that he’d move forward from there. He had majors at Pebble Beach and St. Andrews – two of the courses where he was most dominant – in front of him.

Instead, Woods had the most mediocre season of his career, failing to win anything. Many thought he’d battle paparazzi after he returned to tournament golf; rather he battled his swing and himself for the remainder of 2010. With one event left – his silly season Chevron World Challenge next week – Woods has managed to turn a fender bender outside his home in Orlando into a lost year full of disappointment.

His Newsweek column, which appeared online Thursday, is entitled “How I’ve Redefined Victory.” It might have been better titled, “How I’ve Failed to Play Golf Well Enough to Distract from My Lascivious Ways.” 

I guess at its core I don’t understand the basis for Woods going on radio and in the press and saying nothing new. Nothing beyond what he has already said. It is like handlers think that if he says it enough, it’ll be true. Frankly, I don’t care any more. I just want him to learn to hit his driver straight. I’m tired of the man — but I’m still blown away by the golfer, though less frequently in the past year. I want more of the singles match at the Ryder Cup, the Tiger that steam rolls an opponent, and less of this touchy feely stuff.

Let’s move on.