Tell him to get a divorce, the kids will be well looked after. Then play every tour event that he has avoided over the years, in fact, play every week for a year. Win the Fedex Cup and the Road to Dubai.
Hire Fanny to caddy, if she’s not willing, get someone from Augusta. Maybe Bads is looking for a change.
Hang out every week with the guys on the tour, treat every week like it’s a Ryder Cup week. Don’t try to keep up to the Brits though, you’ll need your sleep to play more often, you are older.
Leave messages on Phil’s phone, he’ll be a wreck.
Within a few months you will be the most popular player in the world again. And having a great time winning.