My latest Sympatico column, about the explosive nature of the situation on the 18th hole at the Buick Open last week, is now posted.
Here is a taste:
Who dropped the bomb?
That question seems almost more important than who won the Buick Open in Michigan last weekend.
Never mind that it was the final Buick event in the state after 50 years of supporting the PGA Tour. And pay no attention to the fact the tournament represented the comeback of Tiger Woods after a horrific display of bad play and equally poor manners at the British Open two weeks previous. The fact was that Woods’ victory at the Buick was a cakewalk amongst a largely anonymous field — most people couldn’t pick second-place finisher Greg Chalmers out of a police lineup filled with homeless vagrants and one spiffy khaki-wearing PGA Tour pro. And other than Woods’ erratic tee shots, the final round of the Buick was about as compelling as listening to the mellifluous tones of Jim Nantz while he soothingly speaks about the greatness of The Masters over tinkling background music. In other words, the Buick was a snooze fest.
Then someone cut the cheese and the Internet exploded with interest about a tournament that no one previously cared about.
Let’s set the scene “ though I’m sure you can find it on the Net if you search hard enough. Tiger Woods prepares to hit his second shot into the 18th hole at Warwick Hills. He has a comfortable three-shot lead and his ball is on the short grass in the middle of the fairway. He squirms a bit, lifts his leg as if to work out a cramp, and leans on his bag, while his henchman Stevie Williams stands nearby. And then suddenly, there’s a loud, juicy sound caught by CBS’ microphone man who was there to document the click of Woods’ iron when it meets the ball.
Someone was playing the trouser tuba. They fired the retro-rocket. They let out a blast that a muffler on a Buick couldn’t silence. They cut the cheese. Enough euphemisms “ you get the point.
Thus began the incident now known as “fartgate.”