2008 — G4G Predictions

Here are my predictions for 2008, some of which are listed with tongue planted firmly in my cheek:

• The RCGA will see a number of fundamental changes to its organization following its January AGM. One positive is the organization will find a way to take the Canadian Open to St. George’s in 2010 and then head to Tom Fazio’s Terrebonne project in 2011, before coming back to Hamilton G&CC in 2012. The only problem is that at that point no one can remember how good Hamilton was six years after Jim Furyk won in 2006.
• Mike Weir won’t win this year, but he’ll challenge for 2008 British Open at Birkdale, a course where Mark O’Meara last won, and a track that places a premium on accuracy. Tiger Woods will win the tournament.
• South African loudmouth Rory Sabbatini will get in an [photopress:rory.jpg,full,alignright]altercation with another top-tier PGA Tour pro. The pair will have to be separated by their peers, and Sabbatini will withdraw from the tournament, only to be found at a strip bar by enterprising AP reporter Doug Ferguson — again — trying to find the SUV he left there following his departure from Tiger’s tournament. His wife, who finally refused to apologize for her husband’s ignorant behaviour, will show up at the next PGA Tour tournament wearing one of her patented homemade t-shirts. This one will state the obvious: “Rory is a dick.” Lots of people nod knowingly when they see the shirt.
• Stephen Ames will miss the cut at the Canadian Open at Glen Abbey, announce the course was watered too damned much and say he will not be returning in 2009. Lacking players willing to play in Canada following the British Open in 2009, the RCGA will be forced to offer his spot to the fourth alternate on the University of Waterloo golf team. When that golfer turns them down, they’ll offer the university student a Royal Bank credit card at a low interest rate as an enticement.
• Sean Foley will continue his rise as a top swing doctor after reworking the swing of also-ran David Gossett and leading him to a win at the John Deere Classic. No one will ask Foley what he’s been reading.
• John Daly’s career will finally bottom out as PGA Tour [photopress:john_daly_and_wife_1.jpg,full,alignright]tournaments stop offering him exemptions afterhe WDs from five of his first six starts of the year. JD will take in stride, “write” another book called, “How to take the money and run, but stumble and piss it all away on the slots,” and announce he’s a) marrying another peeler and b) found God. He’ll then write a song chronicling it for his next country music CD.
• None of the next tier of Canadian tour pros — Andrew Parr, Chris Baryla, Richard Scott — make a breakthrough. James Lepp misses six straight Canadian tour cuts, but wins on the Nationwide Tour after Monday qualifying.
• The Americans finally win a Ryder Cup.
• Boo Weekley will miss several tournaments after being flagged as a potential terrorist. Eventually U.S. officials will take him off a no-fly list after becoming convinced he’s not bright enough to be an arch-criminal.
• Richard Zokol will finish his Sagebrush Golf Club in B.C. and make a couple of starts on the Champions Tour, narrowly missing a win.
• Score Golf will announce St. George’s as the top course in Canada in its Top 100 rankings.
• A major Canadian golf course will go into receivership.
• ClubLink will make a signficant acquisition that no one saw coming (see above). Despite rumours, CEO and owner Rai Sahi will not turn Diamondback into housing.