Oh that Phil Mickleson is a crafty devil. Knowing that the media was going to crucify him for his various no shows throughout the Fall he prepared a great story to cut them off at the pass.
It seems that Phil fianlly admitted to himself that he was too dumpy to play late into the season so he took off 20 lbs and then gained 10 more in muscle. Early reports were that he was now unrecognizable. (long pause) nah! Same old Phil we saw in the Fall, some streaky birdies and a bunch of bogies in his first round back.
Oh yeah, he also says that he and Amy had a Polynesian vacation at which they renewed their vows to one another. Go ahead boys take shots at him now. When was the last time you renewed your vows?!