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Sympatico: Tiger and Social Media: A one act play

My latest Sympatico column is the sequel to one I wrote for ScoreGolf several years ago — in other words, I’ve returned to fiction writing to try to figure out Tiger Woods’ social media agenda.

Here’s a taste:

Tiger (looking uncomfortable): What are the production values of this going to be Steinie? I’ve got a multi-million dollar boat, and a house with a driving range off the bedroom, but people said our first attempt looked like outtakes from a high school AV club. Heck, even Mickelson mocked that first interview. And that dude from the Golf Channel said it looked like a Commie propaganda video.

Steinie: Tiger, we’re using the latest in technology from Google, and we’re not going to have you interview yourself this time.

Tiger: Okay, I get it. Like everything, I think it is just about putting in the reps. Once we’ve done this a bunch more and eliminated the need for me to do those annoying pre-tournaments interviews, I’m sure we’ll be viewed as revolutionizing sports media. What have you got for me, Glenn?

Glenn (fumbling some cue cards): Well, there’s the standard stuff and we are screening all the questions. Some from a poster named “sexts” that I’m not going to bother you with, and a couple from someone calling themselves ElinNo1 asking about your interest in porn. One asking whether you really made Zach Johnson watch adult films during the Ryder Cup. [Pauses and flips through the cards.] Another from SliceGuy asking about whether you still intimidate anyone on tour.

 

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Robert Thompson

A bestselling author and award-winning columnist, Robert Thompson has been writing about business and sports, and particularly golf, for almost two decades. His reporting and commentary on golf has appeared in Golf Magazine, the Globe and Mail, T&L Golf and many other media outlets. Currently Robert is a columnist with Global Golf Post, golf analyst for Global News and Shaw Communications, and Senior Writer to ScoreGolf. The Going for the Green blog was launched in 2004.

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