While I am not privy to the Nielsen ratings for this week`s WGC “Match Play event, judging by the chill winds blowing through the McDonell-Stollery household, they mustn`t be too impressive.
Yesterday, whilst settling onto our milk/crayon/apple juice stained couch, I dared to grab the abandoned remote to sneak a peek at the Casey “ Villegas match. There was a reaction, to say the least, from the assemblage of wife and brood.
Brouhaha does not fairly describe the outpouring of (loud) indignation that erupted from each member of our curtain-climber brigade. Our youngest, all 25 pounds of him, stood on my lap and barked hawkey, hawkey, hawkey straight into my left eyeball. My oldest spun around and gaped at me with a look that may only be described as the pre-cursor to the Dad, you`re way out of line speech he will be perfecting in the decades to come. Our middle child, least deft at the art subtle protest, immediately summoned Mother Bear into the room with cries of anguish not usually heard outside the Tower of London.
My darling wife bolted into the room and beheld a semi-circle of irate youngsters closing in on their stricken father, each urchin in his own way attempting pry the traitorous remote control of my hands.
What`s going on!!.. she cried.
Dad changed the channel and now we can`t watch hockey!! they screamed
(At least that is a partial sampling of the noises-that-sound- kinda-like-words that erupted from the boyos.)
OK, Ok my beloved pleaded, hands raised in the universal sign for enough already!!!
* * *
Before I continue I must clarify a few points
- 1. The TV has been hardwired to Olympic coverage since.I dunnomid-January for the love of God!
- 2. It was a 30 second glimpse at a golf tournament, a sport I thought the whole household loved.
- 3. The hockey game I was interrupting was women`s relegation.China vs. Switzerland.
Nowas a much as I want my sons to grow up with proper respect for other cultures and traditions I cannot figure out how they had a dog in this fight.
Moving on.
* * *
As my wife stood glowering at me, my mouth agape in surprise, amusement, and a smidgen of fear, I realized that even the most principled of arguments on my part could not have carried the day. The Olympics are the embodiment of a sports marketers Nirvana. The Olympics are a time when it does not matter what fringe sport you put on TV, or under whose banner an athlete competes, the willing audience laps up the polished package of emotion on High Definition images.
Naturally the remote gathered dust for the rest of our waking hours, the Casey-Villegas match lost 1% of its total Canadian audience, and the boys returned to cheering for colourful laundry on the TV.
* * *
For the navel-gazing popular sport major-domos do in times of economic turmoil, the real danger that the NHL, NFL, MLB, PGA Tour et al face is if the so-called fringe sports conspire to hold the Olympics annually rather than 4 year cycles. Can you imagine if 2-man luge or short-track speed skating had 20 days of uninterrupted hysteria every mid-winter? We might be faced with the prospect of Don Cherry moonlighting on Moguls Night in Canada and Johnny Miller dryly opining on the choke factors in Nordic Combined.
Don`t think it could happen? Could you please explain this one seeming conundrum?
Scalpers and Cross-Country Skiing
